“X That Ex: Saying Goodbye and Staying Gone” Kristin Carmichael Launches Book & Talks at TEDX! Video + Guest Blog

Note from Stevie: This post is actually written by two guest bloggers: one is Kristin Carmichael talking at TEDX and the other is guest blogger who prefers to remain anonymous until this person comes up with a suitable name. We are working on this because this writer (for that is what she really is) will be sharing posts with you about her life, her dreams, her past, her goals, the obstacles she has fought to overcome– and that includes a bad marriage, an over-controlling alcoholic husband and her enduring significant abuse. This is her blog post but until we come up with a name for her, we are going to call her MADAME X

This time it’ll be different…I’ve changed…Let’s give it one more try.” Most women are suspicious when they hear these promises but they often still can’t get him out of their system. X That Ex: Making a Clean Break When It’s Over (Hunter House) by Kristin Carmichael, LISW, is the long-awaited answer for women who have left a bad relationship and don’t want to go back. This book might save sonmeone’s life. It might even save mine.

x tyhat x

Kristin Carmichael is a Licensed Independent Social Worker who holds master’s degrees in social work and business administration. She is Domestic Violence Specialist at CHRISTUS St. Vincent Regional Medical Center in Santa Fe, NM. In this role, Carmichael consults, trains and collects data in order to develop the southwest’s first medical-advocacy program dedicated to the safety of abuse survivors.

At a recent talk at a TEDx women’s event in Albuquerque, Carmichael spoke on the topic of “Can Abuse Feel Good?”, focusing on a side of abuse that is often overlooked and underestimated, and which is covered in depth in her book: Enticement. Men use it frequently in the game of manipulation and control they play when trying to convince women to give them another chance.

Here’s Kristin Carmichael’s talk at TEDX

 The piece from MADAME X

Hello, I am going to be Madame X until Stevie and I figure out another name for me. I tend to read a ton of books and not so pop-culture aware as Stevie is– read blogging, TV, celebrities, and such. So if things get a little “bumpy” on this or future (if any) posts, it will be because she has adjusted the content to flow better since I write more long-hand, long-form style. This post is about my life to a degree.

I know you are probably wondering why I am even on this blog and it’s taken months – many many months– for Stevie to get me to this point of writing for her. She feels it will make a problem known and also at the same time free me from my fear, the demons of my past, the guilt that perhaps I caused this all to happen. But I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I tried everything to be the kind of person that everyone wanted me to be– just so that I would be loved. I had been convinced since I was a child that perhaps I was the cause of my parent’s divorce and told to be grateful that I had a place to go. Who says that to a child? Yet it was said to me by so many people including my mother and even my grandmothers. I was just a child. I am not the reason for their divorce but I guess it made me more vulnerable — just like the woman Kristin Carmichael talks about in this video.

Now she has a new book out and I am going to try to read it but I can already tell that letting go; no longer punishing myself for the situation that I have lived for so long and all the other things that the book description talks about just feels so true to me- for me- with me

If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to read it too. You need to buy her other book as well.
I might be back. It might take a while. I don’t know.]
MADAME X

STEVIE here and here’s what else Kristin Carmichael is talking about:

This video is from Panacea on Youtube.com. It has a relationship to Carmichael’s book because it’s about walking away and not believing all the promises. Promises are just that-promises. Actions speak louder than words and clearly the actions in this video shows this man isn’t going to change.

 

IF you think this is happening to you, you need HELP! Please contact your local abuse hotline or women’s shelter.

Panacea did this to promote a cause–which is how to handle or get out of an abusive relationship. It does NOT have to just be physical abuse. It could be verbal or emotional abuse.
For more info on today’s look go here: http://www.refuge.org.uk/lauren #dontcoveritup

For more information, please visit http://xthatex.com/.

Available at fine bookstores, online outlets, or at 1-800-266-5592
X That Ex: Making a Clean Break When It’s Over By Kristin Carmichael, LISW
Hunter House
ISBN: 978-0-89793-8 / Paperback $15.95 … also available as an e-book
Available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble

 

Here is another more recent video that was featured during the Super Bowl:

 

Domestic violence occurs across all strata– no matter your race, economic situation, or gender– domestic violence is occurring.

Keira Knightley made headlines with her latest video. This video is a Public Service Announcement about domestic violence. It has raised a firestorm about the graphic violence of the video.
web-psa.jpg
This 2-minute film shows Knightley beaten an abusive boyfriend after she returns from a day of filming. Made for the charity ‘Women’s Aid’, was launched online and will be on television and theaters to highlight the seriousness of domestic violence. The short commercial is directed by Joe Wright, who worked with the actress on hit films ‘Atonement’ and ‘Pride and Prejudice’ is highly graphic in the violence depicted.
Here’s the video for your viewing…


People need to take a stand and create serious legislation about this crime– because it IS a crime.
Child abuse is a crime– make the penalties for domestic abuse equally harsh
.

Here is a very helpful Domestic Violence  Resource Guide. It’s has a full GLOBAL  list of international help centers and organizations for women all over the world.

https://www.mysticmag.com/psychic-reading/domestic-violence-resource-guide/

–If you are a victim of domestic violence, or you know someone who is, please reach out to the resources in your area.

–There are hotlines across the United States that will help you. There are shelters, there are people who can and will help you. They will listen to you.

–If you are wanting to get help, you can find a therapist  or counselor who will help you to find the resources you need to change your current situation.

The Resource Guide is courtesy of Beth Simon of  https://www.mysticmag.com/

Thanks to Madame X for putting this all together (the words). I did the research.

 

Stevie Wilson
LA-Story.com

https://www.facebook.com/xthatex/timeline

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3 thoughts on ““X That Ex: Saying Goodbye and Staying Gone” Kristin Carmichael Launches Book & Talks at TEDX! Video + Guest Blog

  1. THis subject needs to be more out in the open..it is accurate that many forms exist..I am so happy I left a financially abusive person…life is much better, and I can’t even think now how I stayed for so long…

  2. Hi There Madame X,

    Thank you so much for posting my TEDx Talk, referencing my book, and informing your readers of this important topic. Too many women just go it alone after they leave their destructive partners, and it shouldn’t have to be that way. Hopefully women can come together though sites like this one and support each other. Bad relationships don’t come with an instruction manual. If we don’t take care, we can waste years of our lives trying to make things work with people who are never going to shape up.

  3. Hi there
    Madame X is a contributor in this blog and we kept pushing this post back because 1) timing and 2) she wondered if she was doing the right thing. However I was the one that showed her this video and got her to think about putting it into a post.. one of many yet to come. I would love to talk with you on the phone/interview/podcast for my blog — because this is a serious topic and the abuse doesn’t have to be physical, as Pam below stated, it could be financial, emotional, verbal. I think women need a “guidebook” and willingness to take that leap and know that there are people out there to support them.

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