Author, blogger, Sex-pert Michael Alvear Asks– and Answers– this all-important question. PS, in case you didn’t know Michael is our Guest Blogger for today!!
Content Alert: Some of the content below might be a bit more R or X-rated, depending on your comfort zone. Please note that if you aren’t comfortable reading about SEX, relationships, and sexual matters, then you should not read further!
But before we get to that question, here’s one of his more popular-claim-to-fame projects, Blow Yourself Away: Turn Blowjobs Into A Mind-Blowing Experience For Yourself. This is his latest book (e-book) project and it will definitely get your attention. This is geared towards Valentine’s Day but can be used about any major holiday or his birthday. It’s about the man in your life and how you can surprise him with some special attention. I read part of the book (so far) and it’s fun and interesting. This is about making what some consider a bit of a chore and turning it into fun!
Are You Obligated To Blow Him On Valentine’s Day?
By Michael Alvear for LA-Story.com
He loves getting ‘blow jobs’; you may be ambivalent about giving them. Valentine’s Day is coming up. Aren’t you kinda, sort-of-ish required to take one for the team on the most romantic day of the year?
No. The only obligation you have on February 14 is to get yourself into a spa-worthy of your fabulousness. Everything else is negotiable.
When it comes to conflicting desires I always advise couples to wrestle with this rather Zen sexual koan: “You have the right to say no but the obligation to try.”
One way to bridge that divide is to consider how you can start liking a sexual act—say blow jobs—that you feel ambivalent about. It all starts by acknowledging that some things take a while to like. I mean, did you like your first taste of alcohol? Blech! It took me months to like Vodka and now we’re besties. Here’s something else you need to remind yourself of: Some things aren’t likeable until you get good at them. Take dancing. How much enjoyment can you get out of it when you dance like you’re being carried out of a burning building? But ah, with practice it becomes dreamy. What’s true for dancing is true for blow jobs: Competence creates confidence which increases satisfaction.
Infographic courtesy of Michael Alvear!
So with those two thoughts in mind—you don’t have to like giving blowjobs initially to end up living for them and you’re never going to like them much unless you get good at giving them—let’s take a little journey. Our starting point is called “Meh” – a dislike or at least ambivalence toward giving blow jobs. Our destination is “Meow!” – a love for giving head because it’s pleasurable for YOU, not just him.
Here’s the path:
Get In Touch With Why You Love Men
You’re heterosexual (or bisexual) for a reason—masculinity turns you on. You like male energy. First, it sets off your femininity nicely, so you get to feel who you are as a woman more powerfully when you’re around that male energy. Second, you’re attracted to masculine traits: Strength, confidence, hardness.
Apply This To Your Partner’s Penis
Nothing embodies all the things we’ve come to associate with maleness than an erect penis: It’s strong, it’s hard, it’s dominating. And it must be said, without conscience. But I digress. My point is that you have a need for masculinity’s, er, Main Representative, because it represents all that you like about maleness. If you’re cluing in to what I’m doing you’ll know that I’m trying to get you to be in touch with why you like an erect penis. See, it’s going to be difficult to like giving blow jobs without being in touch with that love. And it will be doubly difficult to be good at it.
Think about the hottest sex you’ve ever had. Remember the guy? (hopefully it’s your current partner but hey, I don’t judge). Well, he rocked your world not just because he was good in bed; he rocked it because he loved doing what he did to you. If you don’t cultivate a love for your partner’s erect penis and simply work on the mechanics of giving head you’re going to end up as a skilled worker, not a passionate lover.
There are two ways to cultivate that love—emotionally (what masculinity represents to you, which traits turn you on) and physically (what you like about your partner’s penis). Speaking of his body, what is it exactly that you like about his yogurt chucker—the size, the shape, it’s feel? Is it so big you’ve taken to calling it Frankencock? Does it stand straight up like a ramrod or curve like gravy bowl? Do you like the velvety feel of it? Once you’re clear on why you like it we can move to elevating your consciousness.
Your Pleasure In Giving A Blow Job Is As Important As His In Receiving It.
That means the blow job isn’t just for him. It’s for you. And that means you need to figure out how to get more pleasure out of it. Every woman is different so rather than give you mechanical tips that may or not be pleasurable for you as an individual, I prefer to give you great questions to ask yourself. Like, “How can I get more pleasure out of what I’m doing?” For example, if it feels dry in your mouth there are ways to naturally enhance lubrication so his penis feels better in your mouth. Hint: Picture yourself biting into a lemon. Do it right now. Concentrate on how the citric juices feel. Can you feel the saliva pooling in your mouth? Use that visualization when you’re in bed. Works like a charm.
You can also ask, “What can HE do to increase my pleasure?” During oral, a lot of guys lay in bed with the stillness of crash test dummies after hitting a wall. Would it be more pleasurable if he got on his knees or lightly pulled your hair? How about if he moaned a little more to let you know you’re having an effect? You have a right to request anything you want if you think it’ll heighten your pleasure.
Was It Good For You?
Once you’ve gotten in touch with why you love a hard penis you will love doing things to it with your mouth. Once you realize that YOUR pleasure is as important as his you’ll see a marked shift in your desire to give blow jobs. At that point, the only thing stopping you from lighting him up like all-night liquor store are the physical aspects of delivering pleasure—how tight to hold it, how to use your hands, speed, pressure, and rhythm. My new book has plenty of tips on that score, but be sure to check out the classics of the genre, especially Dr. Sadie Allison’s Tickle My Pickle
Michael Alvear is the author of Blow Yourself Away: Turn Blowjobs Into A Mind-Blowing Experience For Yourself.
Want more information on this book: go to this LINK: http://callmemaybe.us/how-to-give-a-blow-job/
Buy this DOWNLOAD-able Book RIGHT NOW HERE: http://callmemaybe.us/how-to-give-a-blow-job/!
Bio for Michael Alvear:
Michael Alvear co-hosted HBO’s Sex Inspectors, the first sex makeover series on television. He’s been a frequent contributor to National Public Radio’s All Things Considered, and his work has appeared in The Washington Post, The New York Times, and The Los Angeles Times. He writes an occasional sex advice column for the Huffington Post.
Thanks to Michael Alvear for this great post–and a very educational infographic too!! It’s very insightful — and fun! It’s interesting and doesn’t take itself too seriously- just enough to make its’ point (pun intended — sort of!). Visit him website – callmemaybe.us
!
Stevie Wilson,
LA-Story.com
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
DEALS and STEALS(Affiliate Links)
I am required to tell you that I am an “affiliate” with these brands. I curate deals that offer bonuses, bargains and great products –and some are very specifically for this site to feature to YOU!If you purchase via my link, I make a very small percentage for that purchase. I pick the best products, vendors and deals I can find!
Subscribe to RSS headline updates from:
Powered by FeedBurner
If you are going to feature content from LA-Story.com including images, podcasts or videos including the accompanying text, please respect copyright provisions. We require a notation of content origination (meaning credit tag), a linkback to the specific page & please email the link to stevie@la-story.com before the piece goes live. LA-Story.com, LA-Story Recessionista, Celebrity Stylescope, Celebrity Style Slam Trademark/Copyri
