This post revolves around an infographic provided by Spokeo and the underlying framework is based on and top online dating expert and bestselling author Julie Spira, the founder of CyberDatingExpert, fills in the details about dating scams and how to avoid being a victim of them. How does one date online safely and with peace of mind that the person on the other end isn’t a fraud?
The findings of an exclusive Harris Interactive poll for www.Spokeo.com, the Pasadena, CA-based people-search site resulted in the infographic shown below on date-searching. Spira connects all the dots and puts several factors into context to be able to tread and traverse the cyber-highways of online dating. She provides the Top 7 Tips on “Cyber-Safety Dating” and how to avoid online dating scams.
The new poll reveals that 71% of Americans would search for information about someone they are in a relationship with, or considering being in a relationship with, in order to feel safer. Women are more willing to do the searching than men, but men are willing to pay more for it.
Online dating expert and bestselling author Julie Spira, the founder of CyberDatingExpert answers questions about how this information can be used and what everyone (male and female of any age) should do if they are involved in online dating.
1) Julie spells out the 7 top tips for cyber safe dating:
Julie Spira:
Romance scams have been in the news lately from singles who are members of online dating sites and social networking sites. Every time I hear one of these stories, it breaks my heart. With Valentine’s Day putting extra pressure on dating, it’s extremely important to make sure that singles are doing their research
Here are 7 tips to help avoid being a victim of a romance scam.
1. If your date’s photos are either blurry or look like they are from a stock photo gallery, or look model-like or too good to be true, it’s time to do some digging.
2. Those involved in perpetrating a romance scam want to take the conversation off the dating site quickly and onto a private chat or instant messenger service. This avoids having the conversations documented or traceable by the dating site’s software. Until you’re sure about your date, keep the conversations on the dating site.
3. If he or she says they’re in love with you very quickly, don’t jump for joy just yet. Romance scammers
often will say they have never felt this way before about anyone before and they have waited their whole life to meet you. Their grammar often isn’t correct and they have an accent if you speak to them on the phone.4. If he or she lives out of town or out of the country, find out where they really live. If their efforts to visit you get repeatedly canceled due to a work or family emergency, you should be raising a digital eyebrow.
5. If your potential date has a work or family emergency and asks you to wire them money, don’t fall for it. It’s likely they’ll say if you really love them, you’ll help them out and they’ll pay you back quickly. Often the excuse is their funds are temporarily tied up. Don’t fall for it.
6. Make sure to look up the data that you have on someone you’re dating. This can be easily done by plugging the information you have into an online search engine to see if what you find online matches up with what the other person is claiming. Sites like Google and Spokeo can be very informative to research your date.
7. If any of these things happen to you, never ever send money. Do not sent money via Western Union or a foreign bank. Report the profile in question to the dating site and understand that you’re one of many that this person is writing to try try to sweep you off your feet and promise you a life of love and happiness.
2) What could a person put out there and what shouldn ‘t they share with people online?
JS:
People enjoy reading about interesting places that people visit or attend: rock concerts, movies, and sharing their excitement over a television premiere of their favorite show. Sharing these types of updates defines your personality and encourage conversations about like values and interests in online dating sites. Where people share too much information is when they detail specific financial information, where they work, show pictures and an address of a new house they’ve purchased, and other information that could potentially target someone who’s looking to romance them for financial gain.
3) How does one check out the background of the potential date?
JS:
There are several ways to check out who your date is. Most common, people are conducting a Google search on their date to see what information appears. Taking it a step further, using Spokeo as a people search site will help you determine if they are genuine.
You can find out the accuracy of their age, marital status, and even some of their social media site accounts. By asking questions of your potential date, you can find out where they went to college and where they grew up to help insure that you’re searching for the right person if their name is a common one.
4) What are the 5 most common errors that most people make?
JS:
1. People often believe they’ve fallen in love with someone or are in a relationship, when they haven’t had the chance to meet in person. This is a common problem and can be very hurtful. All you really are is a digital pen pal. If you fall in love with someone from behind the keyboard, you really don’t know who they are. I always recommend using SKYPE for a video date to make sure that you’re talking to a real person who matches their profile photos.
2. People are quick to say they’ve never felt this way about someone before and take down their profiles after one or two dates. While falling in love in first sight does happen, if you’re on a dating site, you should continue to date several people until you know that both of you are on the same digital page. Often a woman will take her profile down to date a man exclusively, yet she finds out that his profile is still active. There’s no reason to rush into taking down your profile until you know that you’re ready for an intimate and exclusive relationship.
3. Some people just over share information. Eventually this means they’ll be talking about their ex, complaining about their previous dates, or discussing work and financial problems. This type of conversation doesn’t belong in the early stages of dating.
4. Don’t fall for the line that “if you really love me, you’ll wire me $1500 to visit you”. If he or she is really your soul-mate, they’ll find a way to meet you in person without you having to open your wallet.
5. Often people don’t meet in a public place and instead end up at someone’s home for a late night date– which may include alcohol. This is a huge mistake. Make sure your initial dates are in a public place, something casual, and let a friend know who you are meeting and check in via text to let them know that you’re safe.
5) Are younger people smarter at this than older people?
JS:
The demographics for online dating are skewing from 20s to 80s. I believe that the smartest online daters are the ones who have been members of dating sites for a longer period of time. The most vulnerable people to falling prey to an Internet scam are those who are newly single, whose partner or spouse recently passed away, or those who believe the need to love and be loved by another is greater than just loving themselves.
Follow Julie Spira at these social platforms and via her website.
Online Dating Expert and founder, CyberDatingExpert.com
https://www.facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
https://twitter.com/juliespira
http://www.pinterest.com/juliespira/
https://plus.google.com/+JulieSpira/posts
Thanks to Julie Spira for her expertise and her time on this very hot topic
Stevie Wilson,
LA-Story.com
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