Maybe you are in a relationship or maybe not. You might have dated a few men that you thought might be “THE ONE”, but suddenly they weren’t. If you are in a fairly serious relationship, do you wonder when he’s going to pop the question? Maybe the man tells you he loves you but doesn’t go any further than that. Are you supposed to wait till you get grey hair to get a proposal? What should you be doing to let him know that, he needs to “put a ring on it”?
There’s no better person than a man to give you tips on how to approach this topic but do it so that you aren’t giving your guy an ultimatum. Lucky for me, I have found a man who can give you those tips. He even has tips for you to help you get ” the message” across to the man in your life.
The man I am talking about is Evian Gutman. LA-Story.com welcomes Evian who has put together some great tips to help YOU get engaged!
10 Ways to Let Him Know You’re Ready to Get Engaged
by Evian Gutman
Don’t you just hate when your partner doesn’t pick up on your engagement hints? When every subtle signal you drop is missed. There’s no hope, you think. He just doesn’t understand me.
There’s a famous book called Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. The fun title hides a serious theme: men and women speak different emotional languages, even if they’re not quite from other planets. Women are often subtle, social, seductive; men are… obtuse and oblivious. If you’re dropping hints left, right, and center, it isn’t impossible – in fact, it’s definitely probable – that he’s not ignoring you; he’s just not hearing you.
For women, this is understandably frustrating. Where their female friends know how to read the cues and hints, men fall flat. Amongst themselves, men are forthright: if you want something, ask for it. Yet, when humanity’s two halves come together, troubles emerge. It’s a wonder it ever works out.
But don’t let deaf ears deter you.
Nor should you let the months and years tick by as you stagnate in your relationship. If you’re ready to move to the next step, if you want to make a commitment, to wear that sparkly ring on your finger, then it’s time to make your feelings known.
How you ask? That’s where I come in. Below we’ll explore the best ways to let him know you’re ready to get engaged. Some are subtle, others not so subtle.
1. Drop the hint
They say youth is wasted on the young. Well, subtly is wasted on your partner. If you want something, don’t signpost it; billboard it. You can still keep dropping hints; just make them a little more obvious. Instead of putting on marriage shows or mentioning that all your friends are engaged, take a leaf out of his book: be more forthright.
Bring up the conversation of marriage. Say something like “29 is the perfect age to get married” – or whatever age you are. Just remove some of the subtly. Think less William Shakespeare, more Dr. Seuss.
2. Discuss the future
There’s no better option to raise the prospect of engagement than discussing your future together. Don’t force the conversation. Instead, use a little subtly to bring the topic up. Raise wider issues of where the relationship is heading and what you want out of life.
Talk about the kind of house you want to live in together: whether you prefer the suburbs or the city. Discuss how you’d want to raise children or where you want to be at a certain point. The goal isn’t to tell him outright; it’s to get the ball rolling in his head.
3. Talk about your relationship
Put yourself in his shoes. Sure, he may know you care. He may know that you love being around him. But getting down on one knee and offering up your heart is still a daunting task. Soften the blow with a little security.
Discuss your relationship, letting him know how much he means to you. Let him know that you want to spend your life together. That you miss him when he’s not there. Guys act tough; they walk tall. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be cared for. Trigger that, and he may just make the big move.
4. Tell him
It’s the 21st century! If you’re tired of playing the will he, won’t he game, stop. There’s no shame in just saying how you feel. In fact, he’ll likely appreciate your honesty. That doesn’t mean you need to lay all your cards on the table. Just say that you had always planned on getting married by a certain age, and you hope it’s to him. If you’re feeling confident, go one step further and say you’d love to get engaged in the next year or six months. That means it’s still a surprise when it happens.
If you’re not keen on telling him outright that you’ll say yes, there is a second option. Speak to a friend within earshot of him, and tell them that if he’d proposed, you’d say yes. Like the last option, having security in the answer makes popping the question that bit easier.
5. Accidentally walk by a ring shop
You’re walking around the mall or town one day, and you accidentally walk by a ring shop. Dragging your partner in, you start gushing over the rings. That’s a subtle hint even the densest of partners is going to pick up on. It even gives him an idea of the kind of ring you like.
Just don’t be too pushy.
If orchestrating a trip to the jewelry store sounds a little too devious, comment on a friend’s engagement ring. Ask him what he thinks. Next thing you know, the idea’s been planted.
6. Take advantage of a friend’s engagement
If you’re in that time of your life, friend’s and family’s engagements and weddings come thick and fast. Weekend after weekend is booked up with weddings, as you worry that you’re always the bridesmaid and never the bride. Don’t despair! Engagements and weddings are also the perfect time to prompt your partner.
Once again, it may take a little prodding and poking with hints and signals. There’s nothing like social pressure, however, to prompt his proposal. It’s also a fantastic opportunity to bring up the topic (without being too obvious).
If you’re struggling to start the conversation, try an opening line like:
“Did you hear Sarah and Tom are getting married? Although, after three years, I think Sarah was wondering when it was going to happen.”
Short and sweet. Plus, you’ll know what he thinks based on his reaction. It’s almost like you planned it… wink.
7. Describe your dream proposal
You’re with your friends and your partner. You’re talking about a recent proposal. Then, your friend just happens to ask what your dream proposal would be. After a cheeky smile at your partner, you begin to spell out your dream.
However…
Don’t be too specific or fantabulous (yes, that’s a real word). That just piles on the pressure. Instead, keep it a little vague: a beautiful holiday, a gorgeous view, lots of people or hardly anyone, the grand gesture or the magical moment. After all, the spark of a proposal is the surprise.
It can still be special, but it has to be achievable.
You don’t only need to talk about a proposal. You could also discuss your dream wedding. Here you can be more honest: you’ll likely be the one planning it. But after you’ve described the wedding, maybe end with something like:
“But really, it’s not all about the day. It’s about moving to the next step with the person you love.”
Now that’s a hint!
8. Talk about being married
Unless you’ve expressly talked about not getting married, it’s the destination all couples are heading to. It’s strange, therefore, never to talk about what the future holds. Ask him what he feels about marriage if there are any couples he admires, and what he thought about it back when he was young.
We’re not just talking about the superficial stuff. This is a chance to discuss values. Too often do we focus on marriage failures: the media is littered with them. But marriage works as often as it fails, if not more. Does he picture the two of you in rocking chairs at 80? What does he think makes a marriage successful?
These conversations aren’t a hint. They’re a reflection. They show that your relationship has matured to a point where the future is real to both of you. That means an engagement is just around the corner.
9. Call in reinforcements
In the words of Lennon and McCartney, I get by with a little help from my friends. And there’s no better time than the present. Only you’re not relying on your friends, but his. Asking them to check his feelings or give him a push can work wonders.
Maybe they can take him out to the bar or a game and plead your case. Tell him he’d be stupid not to marry you. Even better if he has female friends, as they can speak from experience. If you’re still struggling with reinforcements, call in the big guns: his family. There’s no one better to ask than his mom (and/or sisters). A few prompts from them might be all that’s needed.
10. Do It Yourself
There’s a tradition acknowledged by some that February 29th is the day when women are allowed to propose to men. The practice dates back to 1288 and Queen Margaret of Scotland. Although there’s a strange stigma against women proposing, there really shouldn’t be. Nor do you need to wait for one day every four years.
Remember “Friends”: Monica, not Chandler, proposes. The room flickers with candles. Is there anything more romantic? So, don’t wait for him to propose; take the initiative. (You can always go and get a ring after he’s said yes.)
Bio of Evian Gutman:
Evian is the founder & CEO of Ringcommend – one of Australia’s leading retailers of wedding jewelry. Prior to that, Evian was a management consultant as well as head of digital marketing for a global business consulting firm. He is also the author of “Coming Back From COVID”. Evian holds Bachelor of Laws and Bachelor of International Studies degrees, as well as Graduate Certificates in Public Policy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
Connect with Ringcommend on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
LA-Story.com would like to thank Evian Gutman for such an interesting article. This piece will hopefully make you (and maybe both you and your significant other) talk about this topic. Yes, I know that it’s scary to talk about relationships… but it also helps you know where things are going.
Stevie Wilson
LA-Story.com
Want to leave a comment or ask a question? Please send an email to stevie.wilson@LA-Story.com
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