This is a very useful read/article by Jennifer V Miller ( @jennifervmiller). It’s a subject that I find most interesting and if we could all do this in various business meetings, we could cut time lost and improve work efficiency probably by at least 25%
Is it really that hard to shut up?
It must be: one of my top posts is on the Golden Rule of Listening which explores five benefits of keeping your mouth shut. Plus, keyword searches for “how to talk less” lead many a person to The People Equation. It would seem that people truly do want to “zip it”, but they don’t know how.
Who are the thought-leaders in your organization?
Think about it. Who do you consider to be influential thought-leaders in your organization? Is it the talkative people who contribute incessantly? No, these non-stop talkers probably don’t have your deep respect. More likely, it’s those who temper their talking and have a give-and-take approach to interpersonal communication.
So, why are some people so compelled to get their share of “air space”?
Maybe it’s arrogance – “I’m super-smart and my ideas are awesome.”
Or, is it clueless ignorance – “I’m unaware of the impact I’m having by blathering on and on . . ”
Then again, maybe it’s a lack of confidence – “I just need to get my spiel out before my nervousness gets the best of me.”
Here are thoughts for folks who want to stay silent, but struggle to do so. Do you recognize these three silence-challenged scenarios?
The Brainiac.
Let’s say you truly are the brightest bulb in the ceiling – fine. Be satisfied with the knowledge that you know a lot. People don’t need to have it rubbed in their faces. Dominating conversations with your superior intellect causes friction and disengagement with your colleagues. Think of it this way: do you want to be known as the Boor from Actuarial or the Conversational Expert who articulates powerful questions?
The Clueless.
This is a tough one, because typically, you don’t realize you’re clueless about your speaking behaviors. For starters, look around you when you talk at meetings. Are people paying attention? Or are they doodling, texting, or gazing off into the distance? This is a sign you’ve lost your audience. Ask a trusted colleague to give you feedback on how you can be more concise or on-target with your message.
The Verbal Spewer.
Yes, presenting ideas to a group makes you nervous. We get it. And it’s OK. The best way to combat nervousness is to go on the offensive – ask questions to determine what your audience wants to know. Then, you can target your responses to only that information that they’re interested in. Look at it this way – if they only want to know about items #1 and #3 on your agenda, then you can skip items #2 and #4 – offer to put it into an email summary. Voila! You’ve cut your talking time in half!
The Benefits of Staying Silent
Letting your words fly, full bore, with no thought to their effect on the audience is a weak communication strategy. It casts you as someone who only likes to hear the sound of their own voice.
By contrast, learning to “zip your lips” is a powerful way to help you learn more about your audience’s needs and desires. As you gain the courage to stay silent, you will have the opportunity to create a stronger presence, enhanced engagement, improved relationships and more meaningful dialogues. And all of these qualities will build your reputation as a thought-leader.
What do you think? What are the qualities that you look for in a thought-leader? What is the impact of having non-listeners lead organizations?
Find Jennifer V. Miller at PeopleEquation.com
twitter.com/people-equation
twitter.com/jennifervmiller
The original post, “How Shutting Up Can Make You a Thought Leader” by Jennifer V. Miller was originally published on The People Equation
Illustration is in the public domain in the United States because it is a work prepared by an officer or employee of the United States Government as part of that person’s official duties under the terms of Title 17, Chapter 1, Section 105 of the US Code. See Copyright.
Thank you to Jennifer Miller for her insight!!
Stevie Wilson,
LA-Story.com
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Great points here. I am at Kripalu yoga center, having a class with strangers who go to silent breakfast. There is not a cell phone visible all day, and the contrast to the “natural world” I just left is astounding….such a good idea to shut up and get it.