In Memoriam: How Death Affects Your Life- Particularly at the Holidays
I ran across this on LIvinginaPerfectWorld.com . It’s about holidays and death and dealing with both at the same time– both very stressful events.
It’s interesting to see how people cope. The question is up to you– how you cope and how you react and perceive the events. Here are some excerpts from this post– though it’s far from the entire thing. You might want to read the entirety of it.
This is just bits and pieces non-sequential.
Why is it that we are so interested in the death of others until it hits close to home? It’s suddenly the sight of our mortality that makes people wonder about the meaning of life. Suddenly certain things like the topics generally covered here seem so less important but perhaps at that particular time it’s because the brain is trying to wrap around the loss of someone– even if they weren’t close– and the body has to adjust physically, chemically, emotionally to that absence….
While we all think we are living forever, we know that’s not the case. Time passes by and those lines we try to erase via Botox or peels or skincare don’t erase the actual time that is marching on in our bodies. The body and human brain knows it– and while we think we can hold back the sweep of the hands of the clock, it’s the reality that it’s merely the appearance of that and that time will and does go on.
Particularly at this time of year, when various religions celebrate major holidays, it seems that the death of a family member or friend bites a little deeper– putting a meaning that tears a bit more into your psyche and heart.
While I never quite had the father that I wanted or needed (and if you did, I am very happy for you), I came to terms with it a long time ago. Though the hurts I have experienced haven’t been fun, they taught me the meaning of creating my own family– which includes friends far and near– and those online are just as meaningful because at some moments you need to reach out.
While my father no longer is in pain, the rest of us get to deal with the aftermath and realize that we are freed too from dealing with someone who didn’t understand quite how to love those closest to him but that they still were there. For me, it’s a less than perfect world. My perfect solution would have been to have him slip peacefully into death in 3-4 months past the incident and the entire estate/situation would be done and buried by now (pun intended).. That’s not how life goes and unfortunately it’s a sad thing to deal with when faced with holiday shopping and it sucks the very life from me as I dealt and continue to deal with things for an entire year.
It does mean something. I remember almost losing my grandmother 3 holidays in a row. It was like we needed to have permanent parking slots at the ICU department.
Comments and thoughts are welcome.